Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Asking for Directions

I have been convicted lately about how I choose to obey when the Lord asks something of me. I always thought that asking questions, making sure (two times, three times, four times, etc.) that I had everything just so, that it was all planned out and that I had my directions right was a good thing. That it showed that I wanted to be prepared, and not be irresponsible. Well what if God pulled another "Abraham"? What if He just said "Go, leave everything that you know is good and plentiful, leave this place and after you leave I will show you where I want you to go." Um I don't think so! But what did Abraham do? He went, he left. He obeyed. Without question. I don't really think I do that, though I would love to say that I do, I think I end up asking too many questions and often miss out on the gifts the Lord has for me because of my need for directions. And when I think, long and hard about what this means, the thing that keeps coming to mind is that I don't trust God. I believe that He died on the cross, I believe that He has taken all my sins and washed me pure as snow, I believe that He rose on the third day and in so doing He defeated death forever. I believe Him, but I have trouble trusting Him implicitly. It's just so hard! How am I to "Go" when I don't know where I'm supposed to end up? What do I do when all I am told is to move but I don't know where the end result will take me? I freeze, I panic, and I ask for directions. I want to obey like Abraham, like Joseph. I want to trust my Father and move as soon as He reveals that is His desire. But I am afraid. I am afraid of getting lost, of what I might encounter along the way, of where the journey may take me. And yet the Lord says, "Do not fear." He says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So why am I afraid? Because walking in faith, trusting that the Lord will guide me and direct me even when I have no idea what's going on is the essence of Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen". He has not showed me and therefore I have not seen the destination and yet He still says "Go!" Will I trust Him? Will I go? Will I move?

Father God thank You so much for Your patience with me and for revealing areas in my life that You feel need to be molded and stretched. Thank You for loving me enough to put the effort into making me into the woman you long for me to be. Thank You for Your word that is living and breathing, that will convict and correct, that will encourage and sharpen.