Sunday, November 13, 2011

Flight 3221 Service to Charlotte

I am currently sitting in the Toronto Airport waiting on my flight to Charlotte. I've done this several times over the last year and half, but there is something very different about this trip. I am headed to Charlotte for a visit, I'm not coming home from one...this is a very hard concept for me to wrap my mind around. The thought of visiting Charlotte is just weird. Charlotte is where I grew up, it is the familiar, it is home, and yet I am coming for a visit. A rather long visit which I am grateful for, but a visit all the same. It's so weird because I am so excited to come, to see people, to eat at Chickfila and go to Target, but I will dearly miss Ingersoll. I will miss my husband, I will miss Juanita :) I will miss waking up to snow (as long as I can stay inside in the warmth and not have to go out and brave the cold!), I will miss family and friends, I will miss home. I feel torn in two different directions, I want to be in Charlotte and I want to be in Ingersoll at the same time. They are both home, they both hold my heart, they both call my name asking me to come and be, but I will always have to leave one for the other. But in the midst of the leaving I am grateful for technology. I am grateful that I can see faces even when I'm not there in person. I am grateful that I can send "letters" that will be received instantly rather than barely arriving before I return. I am grateful for love and grace in both places, for my Charlotte home being grateful for my presence and yet knowing and encouraging my return to Ingersoll, and my Ingersoll home knowing that I need a touch of the South, of my roots, and granting me the grace to visit knowing that I will return soon. What love, to be pulled in so many directions, but how hard it is to leave both homes, no matter the length of absence it is hard to leave either place. But I am grateful that I have the ability to go home, to drink sweet tea and go to Joan's for Thanksgiving (Oh I cannot wait!!!!!!), to see my brother graduate from boot camp (what a proud sister I am!!!!), to see friends and family in person, to touch and hug and laugh, to be home. And I am grateful that when I return to Ingersoll I will be glad to be home. I will go to Coffee Culture and get a Chai Tea (love it!), I will go to Juanita's and distract Liam from school, I will go to youth group and laugh and build relationship, I will be home. What joy I find in both places...thank you Jesus for granting me the grace to be so loved and to have the ability to be home, wherever that might be at the time.

Thursday, November 3, 2011


Today I am challenged with a blog post by Ann Voskamp. If you are not familiar with her she is the author of the book One Thousand Gifts and has a beautiful way with words. Check out her post from November 2: When you desperately want God to hear your prayers. For me it was a great encouragement and challenge to look deeply into my prayer life, into my heart and look at my motives behind prayer. Why do I pray? Do I pray for my benefit or for anothers? Do I pray in faith or do I pray in want? I remember hearing it said that God always answers our prayers, it's either Yes, No or Later. So what happens when He answer's my prayers in a way that doesn't please me? Will I still trust Him? What if I am praying selflessly for another, truly longing for their good and God answers No? What then? How do I respond?

I want to respond in faith, in trust, in the the knowledge that He can see the whole picture and I can only see glimpses here and there. I want to remember Romans 12:2 which says "...the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." Do I believe that? Truly, no matter how my prayers are answered will I choose to believe that He knows better than myself? Even if circumstances seem everything but good, acceptable, and perfect will I choose to believe, and trust and continue to pray anyway? I long for this to be true, though we all struggle, stumble and fall our Father is always there to pick us up again. How amazing He is!

I choose to believe that no matter what happens, no matter what my struggles are, that He is greater and that His plan is perfect. No matter what is going on around me, no matter who is struggling, I will pray for the Lord's will to be done and not my own, and not their own. Because I only want His will in my life, my will, though it may look better at the moment, is nothing if Christ is not in it. And if I do not want anything that He has not granted for myself how could I want something that He has not granted for another?

Jesus thank You for Your will, Your good, acceptable and perfect will. Thank You for the knowledge that no matter what happens, You are there, and You are greater. What a comfort that is! Thank You for Your love, Your peace, Your grace, Your mercy, Your faithfulness. Thank You for this reminder to pray Your will to be done and not my own.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Freedom is found...

...on the dance floor.

When the music is playing and it is just me and Jesus and the dance floor, that is Heaven on earth. How I miss the days of classes full of stretching, both in spirit and in body, moving to the rhythm and beat of the music, full of His leading. I believe everyone has their "Jesus thing" as I like to call it :) Some find it in music, either played or sung, some in the written word, some in capturing moments through camera lenses, some through the playing of sports, and the list could go on and on, and then there are the dancers. That's me. I find my true self in the grace filled movement that is found when the body lives out the music that is played. That is where I find rest and peace, where I can see the face of my Creator and feel His presence all around dance I find Christ and in Christ there is freedom.