Friday, May 4, 2012

{Real} Life is Messy

No, no its not! It can't be! It must be clean, organized, and perfectly perfect. Yeah right!

"This house is clean"...she says to herself as she hides dirty clothes behind closed doors, or maybe we should say closed door as we live in a rather small apartment (the upstairs of a duplex) that has literally been transformed from a three bedroom upstairs to contain a bedroom, living room, bathroom and kitchen in each of the original three bedrooms.

"This house is clean" she scrambles around like mad, stuffing papers and dirty dishes anywhere she can find, as friends are arriving in 10 minutes and the house is definitely not clean.

Not much room for hiding, but she manages it. Why? To impress rather than be real. Not that she wants to invite guests in to the muck at the bottom of the tub from the husbands showers after a hard day on the farm or the pile of dishes that never seems do diminish. But why can't she be real? Why can't she just say "This is me, with the house full of dirty dishes and dirty sheets. This is me, with the dust bunny parties and the entryway covered in worn shoes. This is me in all my imperfections."

Why can't she let her guard down and be vulnerable in her imperfections? Because it's scary!!!!! Who wants to open up and say "I fail! I screw up! My house is dirty and my to do list is a mile long!!!"

Well, you see, she does...and she doesn't. There is war going on inside her heart. She wants to be a real person. But to share reality she must share failures and fears. Why can't she be real without sharing the hard stuff? Why can't she just be real in the nice, pretty, put togetherness of life.

Because life is messy, her life is messy! In order to be real she must own up to the messy and imperfect-ness of life, her life. And honestly, that is exactly what she does not want to do.

Why can't she paint a pretty picture for others to believe? Why can't she appear to have it all together, to know how to live her life, how to keep a house clean, how to stay on top of her to do lists, how to be perfect?

Because perfection IS NOT REAL!!! But she wants it to be real, isn't that good enough, can't she make it be real? No.

If she is going to share her life with others than she must own up to the imperfections in her life. She must be willing to be open and vulnerable and not having it all together, because that is real.

So here she is, being real, with you. Owning up to the fact that she does not have it all together. She has no idea how the pile of dishes seems to never get smaller, or why the dust bunnies seem to get bigger every time she puts away that Swiffer vac.

But in the midst of the imperfections, in the midst of being real. She will NOT give up and have a pity party. She will say "Jesus, thank you for this messy life that you have given me." She will smile, she will work, she will not worry, she will be quiet, she will spend time in the Word, and she will choose joy.