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Friday, May 11, 2012

Identity

5 Minute Friday from The Gypsy Mama

This is about writing for five minutes without checking for grammatical errors or spelling errors, just writing for five minutes flat...so here it goes.

Identity

I'm not a mom, but I've been a nanny for as long as I can remember, and all the kids I have looked after, loved and given my heart too, feel like my own. I have always, always, always wanted to be a mom.

Recently, as I have gotten all the immigration paperwork figured out and can now begin to apply for a job, a "real job" as some might call it. You know, those office jobs where you dress in something other than sweats and dark colored t-shirts that won't show spit up and pee stains. I've been wanting to be a mom. A mom to my own children and not someone elses.

I've discovered that children are my comfort zone, and though it might be hard, I feel like I have a purpose when I am holding a child in my arms, putting a band-aid over a scraped knee, or reading a bedtime story (the same book for like the 50th time!).

But I am not to find my identity in being a mom, but rather in Christ. I am a Christ follower. Whether I am a mom or not, I can love the children that God has placed in my life that are not my own. I can choose joy in this journey that He has given me. I can trust Him and trust in His timing. I can love my husband and not wish away our time that we will never get back once we have kids. I can the woman that God created me to be for today, not trying to be someone He hasn't created me to be yet.

I will rest in His beautiful timing. I will love this time with the man He has given me. I will love sleep, staying up late because we want too not because we have too, and being spontaneous without having to worry about nap-time. I will be me, right here and right now, me.

Stop.