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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Quiet in the midst of Chaos

Peace.

What a lovely word. I love peace. I love the sense of well being I have when I am at peace. It is rest. It is Matthew 11:28 "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." I long for rest, I long to "be Mary" and sit at my Father's feet and not "be Martha" who doesn't take the time to sit at her Father's feet. But alas life happens. The chaos. In this fast paced world where is peace? Rest? Where is the time to sit at the Father's feet? The time is waiting for me to stop, in the midst of the chaos and be quiet. To "be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 42:10). We are to be still and in the stillness we are to know that He is God.

On Sunday afternoon Matthew and I took time to sit at our Father's feet. He sat downstairs on our couch and I sat up on our bed, and we were still, quiet before our God. I read my Bible, I wrote down scriptures, like the ones above, to remind me of the stillness He calls me too. I prayed. And I was quiet. For anyone who knows me, you know that I love to talk. I can talk to just about anybody about just about anything, it's just who I am :) So for me to sit down and shut my mouth and quiet my mind is a big thing...but I did it, and it was wonderful. It was peaceful. For me I find peace in the will of God, and that is how I have chosen to decipher if I am in the will of God or not. I don't want to freak out or always worry about if I'm in the will of God. So I have decided to trust. God is not a God of confusion, He does not call us to a guessing game, He calls us to Himself. And He says if we seek Him we WILL find Him...and for me finding Him is peace. If I am truly seeking Him above everything and everyone else, He will reveal Himself. But if I am not looking I can miss Him time after time, because I wasn't willing to take the time to be still and know that He is God. So when I take the time to be still, I seek peace. I seek for the beating of my heart to slow and for that nervous feeling in my stomach to disappear. I seek to clear my mind and allow Him to speak into my heart, my life. I open my heart to my God and I ask for His will to be done and not my own...and then I wait. I wait for the stillness, for the quiet, for the peace. And it always comes, maybe not in that instant, but eventually, if I'm willing to wait and be patient (which can both be struggles for me!), whether for 5 minutes, 5 days or 5 months, eventually it always comes. Because when I truly give up my desires for this life, and actively seek His desires for this life, my perspective changes. I remember that this is His life that He has given me to live, not the other way around. My life is but a breath, a moment, in the grand scheme of things, so how am I going to let Him use the moment that He has given me? I will seek Him above all else, I will learn from my mistakes which I will undoubtedly make, and I will take the time to sit at my Father's feet. To be still, to find peace, and to be quiet in the midst of the chaos.